That is the number or orgasms, either vaginal or clitoral I had with FH.
Not a single solitary one.
He never cared whether I did nor not. Don't you think that is pretty sad?
I figured out quickly that his sexual knowledge was limited. Before we married, sex started out ok and I didn't want to pass judgment as I felt that would be unfalr. He acted like he was trying, but after five months of marriage, his interest stopped completely.
So what is a girl to do???????????????????
Any thoughts???????????????????
Well here was my bright idea at the time.
I made him my project.
I wanted to do what I could when I could to learn from him and through him using his sexual responses to me. I wanted to do everything in my power to please him sexually - orgasmically and otherwise. My goal was to make his orgasm different everytime if I could. I would occasionally ask him after sex or the next day or so how it was for him and if I could change things and make them better for him. He never said anything bad. He even made special requests!! He would say things like, "When you touched my leg, this happened." Or, "when you kissed me at that point, this happened." I took great joy in his comments. Finally, somebody was enjoying themselves when we had sex. The comments and appreciation was all I had to hold on to as a measurement of my progress. I paid attention the regulars: breathing, sounds, movements, heartrate, etc, but it meant more to me if he was able to say something to me about how it was for him. It was pretty awesome. I could be proud of me for... umm.. let's see.. about every eight to twelve weeks (on average that was the length of time between our sexual encounters). Now mind you, he got lots and lots of massages in between so I could fill my skin hunger and I would make attempts to please him orally, but I was always met with a quick "NO."
And so, this was my life for 2 solid years.
I watched him.
I listened to him.
I loved him.
I learned from and through him.
I tried to keep my head up with talks to myself when I felt myself getting selfish and resentful.. hoping that if I kept it up things would change. But they didn't. I had pretty much resigned myself to my life when he screwed up royally and made me rethink my dedication to him entirely.
Now... please don't think the reason I didn't cum was because I am not orgasmic.
I AM VERY VERY VERY ORGASMIC! I even think I am multi-orgasmic (did I just scream that from the rooftops or what??). I "tend" to my needs almost daily at this point and did the same while we were married. Most times I would masturbate beside him in bed. He never noticed.
I became quite trained at executing"silent nights" (there I go again using that song!).
Sadly, I have only had clitoral orgasms though. (It's ok vagina... don't cry. Keep hope alive).
Despite my best efforts and drive to please him, I did suffer a major consequence that I didn't discover until recently. I feel empowered that I can and want very much to please my partner.
I take enormous pride in being able to make him levitate off any hard or soft surface, but after nearly three years of hard study, I am uneasy to be with a partner who migh actually wish to do the same to me. I know.. it sounds really stupid. I think my neverousness is is because I am so used to the power/Alpha position and very UNused to feeling vulnerable. I am used to being in control of what happen and enjoying the responses I get when I do something my partner enjoys. I am not sure I could relax and enjoy. I would be too scared he was doing something he didn't want to do, or getting bored, or not enjoying himself, or possibly thinking, "I hope she cums quickly so we can get back to me cause I REALLY like it when she does X,Y, or Z.."
I would constantly be trying to read his face and seep into his brain to make sure he wasn't upset. Maybe in time that will change, but I doubt it at this point.
I guess I thought most men took pride and went to great strides to make sure he could please his woman or at least give it his best shot. I know I am not wrong, but you can understand how I began to doubt that notion.
For now, I have to be content taking care of myself.
Men of the blog world, would it bother you if your lover never had an orgasm with you? Wouldn't you wonder about things?
Would it bother you if she focused on you the way I focused on FH?
These responses should be quite enlightening.
Danica
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
5 comments:
It bothers me I wasn't able to bring my first girlfriend, DAG, to an orgasm in the year or so we were together. That was 26 years ago. Of course, I was a stupid teenager at the time, but still, it's no excuse really.
It was such a difference with TW. She responded positively to the things I would do and is not hesitant to tell me where to touch and when. I have no problem with it. If it brings her pleasure, she can direct me all she wants. :D
As for the attention, I could use a few more massages. I guess I just have to ask more. TW's willing to do it.
Wow, your story gets worse..I don't know how you put up with it for so long.
I may be being conceited, but I don't think a girl has ever faked with me. I have always made sure that I give plenty of menatal and physical stimulation before getting anywhere near penetration.
Vaginal orgasms can be harder to cum by (sic) but with enough effort beforehand and decent technique, you can usually succeed, most times, if not on every occasion.
I like to try to focus on pleasing the woman first, preferably having her cum before penetration, then again during or after, I love it when women are multiorgasmic and consider it a complement (hope that didn't sound conceited again!). My girlfriend has only managed that a few times, she doesn't seem to let go for the 2nd or 3rd, although she can and does orgasm more than once in any given session.
Oh Danica, how did you survive?
Don't worry about being so geared towards your partner when you do find a man that is willing to tend to your needs. Within a very short time it will become a wonderful mutually pleasant experience.
In my experience (and I am not ashamed to say I have a fair bit), if a guy is interested in pleasing his partner, he will become more aroused with every groan of pleasure she makes... making her attentions on him all the more appreciated when the time comes. A man who wants to please his partner will get a huge kick out of her actually getting pleasure.
I am sorry to say this, but a fair amount of men couldn't give a hoot if they had pleased their partner or not. I would say at least 60% of my male partners were only concerned with their own pleasure. And those men couldn't care less if you orgasmed or not.
Good for you on "taking care of yourself" though.
Yes it would bother me, but I am sure there are plenty of selfish morons out there that could care less.
In my case Wife is hard to get off. She knows this and I am not sucessful every time not for lack of effort though. She does like to masturbate while we have sex so she gets off every time. It depends on her mood a lot.
I've already answered the question, but I'll say it again.
I feel a huge frustration when I can't get my partner to cum.
If we have just started seeing each other and are intimate I will probably cum too quickly. I tend to not want her to do much to me before she has cum because mine may be anticlimactic for her (not for me.. hehehe).
A recent girlfriend of mine was a major nympho. She wanted sex all the time. When we first started dating I was between jobs and she didn't work. We would easily have sex 3 times a day. She had huge multiple orgasms. She said that one time in particular she came more than 2 dozen times. I doubt that this was really true. I think she confused waves of an orgasm for individual orgasms. I truly have never seen (or felt) someone cum so much in my life. Simply amazing.
Post a Comment